I’ve always hated writing up my bio, but it is always the first thing I read when I find a new blog or performer I like. So here we go!
The short version – I’m a vegan, burlesque dancer, nature lover, and, dog and cat mom who wears her heart on her sleeve. I love funny things, authenticity, being naked, pine trees, snowboarding, glitter, and myself. Self-love is vital folks. My favorite thing about myself is my willingness to be vulnerable as well as being direct. I say what I mean and I mean what I say, and I fucking love it when others do too.
Recently I’ve noticed how important it is for me to gett outside in order to to ground myself. It puts me in a better headspace and helps me have the best relationship with myself.
Now the long version. I was born and raised in Northern California and have been surrounded by Mother Nature’s beauty my whole life, many of those years spent taking her for granted. Only in the last few years have I learned how to harness nature for my own personal growth.
Growing up in a middle-class family in a small town, nature was often the most feasible means of vacation and relaxation. We camped at least once a summer until I became a teenager. I lived with a lake less than 5 minutes away and deer trails in my backyard. Nature was just part of my life and I never realized how much vitality I gained from being out in it.
As a teenager, I wasn’t really comfortable with my body, but I’d still wear a bathing suit around my close friends when we would cut class and hike out to the river. Nature remained a frequent escape, though still taken for granted. Once I moved away for college, however, I didn’t feel as comfortable baring my body. My shame kept me from wearing shorts and accepting pool party invitations. I also moved into the city where it was hotter and nature wasn’t quite as accessible. Body shame and the fact that I didn’t find the flat areas and big rivers as valuable as my rolling-rock-rivers and pine tree forest from back home kept me indoors. Really though, I didn’t even try to find the beauty where I lived, I was too busy being held prisoner by my own hatred of my body.
Life got busy in my twenties. I was going to college, got married, bought a home, and continued to hold myself hostage from the outdoors for three out of the four seasons. By 2004 winter was the only acceptable season for me.
I still had a desire to be outside, and I found a way to do it:
Snowboarding. My desire to snowboard each year forced me to keep physically fit enough to continue to hit the slopes. I was still hating my body and still gaining weight until I was carrying over 200 pounds on my 5’3” frame. I wore men’s sized clothing because I couldn’t find women’s sizes. I didn’t care. I had a helmet and goggles on and nobody could tell who I was. Achey and tired after every day of snowboarding, but always returning to see the pine trees and Lake Tahoe views.
In 2007 I adopted a vegan lifestyle and I started to shed some weight and gain a bit of confidence. I added yoga and running into my life and lost a little more weight. I took a yoga teacher training program and gained a little more confidence. I made a couple really great friends that liked to camp, do mud runs, and float on the river in the summer. I started spending more time outdoors in the three other seasons and I got happier. The happier I got the more I learned how to be brave and work on loving myself. I started paying attention to what made me happy and what drove my depression.
Now, my awareness has grown and I’ve become clear on what makes me thrive. I’ve ditched the house in the burbs and ended my marriage. I’m free and very much at home in my own skin now. I crave connection to people, feeling creative and spending time outdoors. I love to perform live and then maybe hike alone. I enjoy sitting silently in a cafe writing about my outdoor adventures with friends. I especially love to hear about my friend’s adventures in the outdoors. How it makes them feel to be in nature. It is easy to see how this blog was born. Connection, creativity, and fresh air.